I sit on the same couch I sat on to write the last post where I detailed the ups and downs of my journey through the Kahurangi forest. This time I've spent a few days with Mikey in his campervan doing little hikes and swimming and climbing and seeing majestic views on either side of a 2 week stint at an intentional community called Tui. Tui is pronounced "Tewey" which rhymes with "dewey" of the dewey decimal system, if you're into that. The tui is a native bird here in NZ and also the brand name of the balms that the people of the community make in a factory just down the dirt road from the community. It is located at the end of the road, just up against the Wainui car park which is 1 end of the Abel Tasman coast track, one of the 'Great Walks' (backpacking trips). This means that the local scenery and landscape is idyllic: crispy turqouise beaches, rock formations with personality, lush greenery, and the most starry night skies.

Tui was pretty varied. There wasn't internet there- only ethernet- and my laptop is too new for that. So I was able to internet on a borrowed ethernet-capable computer when it was available and some very sparse moments (mostly in the middle of the night) when there was one bar of cell service and I turned on the data. This was a cool thing for me -- not quite as full on as the 2 weeks prior of actual no internet, but still a significant minimization. Thing was, it felt fine for the most part. Again. I was in a held and contained space with a schedule of 6 hours of work/day with a lunch break in the middle, and 3 day weekends which somehow filled up despite attempts at having them be 'chill days.' There was a cohort of 4 of us - Me and Mikey, and 2 women who I am tickled to have had the opportunity to spend a fortnight with: Lucia and Juliana. We were a multicultural bunch which was nice and fresh. We stayed in 'the community house' which is a very spacious and dated house with an enormous kitchen and 2-3 different living rooms. Lots of cobwebs abounded. We also got to use freshly ground up rye flour and peanut butter which was a delight. We did a fair bit of baking and cooking too. Zucchinis are going crazy there right now- kind of like mid-late July back in Portland. Another month or so and it'll be tomato time there. I was able to eke out 2 batches of pesto from the basil in the garden as well.

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It is now a few days later and I was lucky enough to attend a sangha (meditation community group) last night that meets weekly in someone's house, much like my beloved Aspen Grove Sangha back in Portland, but this one was a zen sangha. Main differences aside from the format and people include the age demographic-- I am certain all the attendees in this group were over age 55. I forgot how common that is among meditation groups because I got so used to the hip young Aspen Grove group. Checking my ageism here. And the other difference was the rigidity. Of course zen is more rigid but it struck me that the attendees were also somewhat rigid in their thinking. There was widespread opposition to the idea of any kind of verbal / dialogue / sharing component happening in their group space. I know I come at this from the place of having found a wholly nourishing and wonderful sangha that prides itself on the skillful inclusion of this relational component. There seemed to be preconceptions of such a part devolving into 'idle chatter' or 'esoteric sharing group' which were said with disdain in the discussion I witnessed. I really loved everyone's commitment to the group, to their own truths, and to being in service of the desires of the group's strength, integrity, and continuity. They were so welcoming to me and even solicited advice and information from me when I shared with them about my group back at home.

I feel sadness having only encountered this group here in Golden Bay as I prepare to leave-- I would have liked to have attended it more in the past few months but it's really fine. What it has done is shift my orientation more towards finding groups like this in other places I may go to which feels like a positive forward look.

I look forward to moving on from Golden Bay and spending a few days in Nelson again where I hope to play a pickup game and go to a psychodrama evening meeting. It's been a long time in coming- I've been researching the psychodrama options here since I got here.

Other developments in my psyche and experience include my own growing disdain for physical manual labor. I would relish something in a temperature-controlled environment, seated, repetitive would be fine- or a childcare or human-relating indoor job. I know, famous last words. But I've spent the better part of the last 3 weeks doing challenging physical work outside like digging, moving dirt, weeding, and other things that leave my IT bands and hips and knees feeling pretty wrecked. I imagine if I were 10 years younger it might be different. That said, one of the other woofers at Tui was 10 years my junior, so kudos to her and her dedication. An energetic woman who gave me a ride yesterday down Takaka-Collingwood highway told me that her reasoning for not doing as much outdoor adventure stuff was because her muscle mass has decreased and her bones have broken down. The way she put it felt quite stark - I know these things are true and happen as you age, but she seemed just fine with it. I spent about a year attempting to un-adhere my identity from out physical outdoor pursuits but then when my ankle healed I fell right back into that groove. I hope with more insight and greater perspective. I hope. Anyhow, this woman was lovely to spend even just the ten minutes of the ride with. I had just bought a bag of peaches from a nearby farm and when I offered her a peach, her instant reply- full of vim and prosody- "is the pope catholic?!?"

I leave you with that.