peanut butter and chocolate

most inspiring food ever. hands down. unfortunately the pb i got in my haste to procure quality chametz last night from whole foods has a bit too much salt for my liking. Oh well, at least I'm melting on my tongue right now. I also got this bag (not box, bag.) of cereal that is cinnamon toast crunch...but natural. whole foods natural. organic, and advertises "no phony flavors!" It's mad good. It will be finished soon. This manic food consumption is offset (I hope) by my ass busting of sports playing by weekend. Otherwise, I am nothing. It's my common Jewish name with an Elana- shaped hole of empty space immediately preceeding and anteceding it.

So last night a coupla things happened. I rejoiced inwardly upon reaching thursday evening, which means no class for 4 days, and in those 4 days I can only predict what sort of blasphemy might go down. At least its routine, at least it's in the peanut butter zone. What else is there to dub?

Last night I played hockey. With some girls who really hustled. Especailly this one girl. she looked small, compact, and mousey, and I usually assume that I can take any girl, but this one put up a fight. I was humbled and proud of her. She really hustled and didn't miss many passes.

I practiced my boxout, and that term means basically any time I use my body as a strategic barrier. It's one of my few moves to call upon. Too bad it doesn't directly involve smooth tricky movement of the ball. Maybe I'll get there.

I play pretty physically with some people and I want to be sure they are ok with it. So I sometimes ask bluntly, awkwardly, just to be sure that my hump-like trap into the boards D isn't unwelcome.

last night was frisbee night too. i dont want to take for granted the comfort and contentment i feel playing with these kids. I recall freshman year feeling so out of place, illegit, and dweeby, and am so glad that I have found a niche, at least I percieve myself to have found one. I actually get it. It took me long enough, that's for sure. I made a good catch/bid/fall/lay on the concrete and got minimally hurt, and it was my body acting governed by "get disc" without thought about personal injury, or adding insult to. I want that to be the way I always play. *scrapes off dried blood from elbow.*

When boys cry. It's the best reminded of our humanity across the board and I want it to be more than okay.